April Fool's Day Declared Banned

By Frank Mulligan

Recently, the US Government has declared a nationwide ban on April Fool's Day as people's fake posts keep tricking leading officials. According to Pete Hegseth "Someone said they were going to fight the Department of War, and we had to spend $50 billions of taxpayer money raining down our entire collection of nukes on their house." Due to this, they are declaring any pranks, tricks, or jokes that are committed within 20 months of any April 1st, you will be charged with treason and sentenced to death without chance of parole.